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moments to share, moments to care

with years and events the illusion of what a family is, dissolves into nothingness.

at last, another mystery is solved, and another family member is off the wishlist.

at least i know who my people are.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-05-19

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after a few depressing months, i am finally back on track. funny, how things suddenly fall in right places, opening a new passage for a getaway.
finally. i have quit my job, leased my place, covered all fiscal responsibilities, and now looking forward some time for myself.

those who know me might have noticed a tendency where i always have to take upon more than i can do. somewhat of a victim vs hero syndrome. always working at several jobs, studying, fixing apartment, and just being completely worn out. i am done with that. despite the fact that leaving my super safe and well paid job in accounting seems a suicidal move, actually it is not.

i might not make as much money with translating, and i might turn out to be a shitty writer, but i will jump for this chance and try something i like, something that has added value and something that makes me feel like my life has somewhat of a value. i will give this a shot before someone tells me i have 6 months left to live.

i will jump into the unknown and...

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-05-02

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i was sloppy with my last year's resolution, but not this year.

this year i have a plan.

1. quit my job.
this will take 2 more months, so i can have the three beautiful summer months free, just books, viola, beaches and free time and will be done with my fiscal responsibilities by then.

2. enjoy the summer.

3. go see the world.
i wanted to work for a cruise line last september, but due to some emotional roller coaster i decided to postpone it. now the time has come when i can make a fine blend of business and pleasure - rent out my apartment thus having no costs and get paid to see the world.

this is gonna be an epic year.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-02-19

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and break into milion pieces.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-02-15

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i'm not a sociopath. just smart enough to think like one.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-02-13

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no one can make this decision for me.
so i'm asking myself - shall i jump?

what is is gonna be girl? do you have the guts to strive for something outside the box?

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-02-09

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it is time to sharpen my knife. it is time to open a new page. it's time to embrace the insanity outbursts into creative formation instead of pretending to lead a normal, mediocre life.

it is time to bleed all over pages.

every person is a story.
all you have to do, is read it.

Skrivet av arlona, 2015-01-19

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so after having finished bergman and gone girl, here is my christmas present to myself:

i am admitting and embracing that to a certain extent i am a sociopath. i tend to think a lot wider, intuitive, observantly than others. i have an amazing capability of being good, and even greater to be mean, manipulative, selfish, and cover it all up with a naive smile.

when observing psychopaths in action, i can emphasize with them, understand the reasons, even feel admiration for their patience and handling. only psychopathic stories that seem troubling are the ones playing on my inner inability to admit the true self.

i am not a psychopath. i am in charge of my actions. and most of the time - of my thoughts. my behavior is a choice. i do not tend to gamble with lives - others rather than mine (since i can be quite reckless about myself)- just for the fun of it, just to roll the dice.

and i strive, strive, strive to fight the dark side and just be a good person. to do the right thing. this fight often...

Skrivet av arlona, 2014-12-23

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