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moments to share, moments to care

this evening is priceless. the entire day was quite amazing to begin with, but let's just get to the most entertaining part.
so music is the only thing that keeps me going through dark hours. and when someone tries to take it away from me, i can get very upset. so let's just say i got into a fight with a band member about some pointless stuff. i'm so freaking tired of ppl being irresponsible and wasting their own n other ppl's time. and not admitting they screw up big time. grow up ffs and start taking some responsibilities. this made me realise one thing - rather sit in the corner, play when you have to and sit silent when you don't. shut the fuck up and just do your thing.
anyhow, the evening glided into a completely different shape after i got one step closer to fulfilling my dream - playing one of the most awesome songs for my level together with 2 other ppl that share my passion. if this will all come true, ill die happy. but still a month left for rehearsals. can't wait.

i also noticed that i...

Skrivet av arlona, 2008-11-13

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it's amazing how your attitude/feelings towards a person can change in an instant. like one day you're madly in love with this guy but then he goes and does some incredibly stupid things that disappoint you in the level of you losing half of what you ever felt. relief and wonder at the same time. i guess that first of all it happened cuz i've put the person on a non-existant pedestol and then wondering why he fell from it. or maybe because i am incredibly naive (which i am) and hope and believe in things which aren't there but that i want to be there. typically. typiskt.

Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen.

'Cause now I have to pretend that I don't really care.

not that i have a problem with any of it. i'm very lucky to have things that fill my life, most of it is music ofc. so as long as i have hearing, fingers and voice (in the order of priority) i will always have smth to put myself into and...

Skrivet av arlona, 2008-11-11

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atm i feel like: ezitis migla (hedgehog in the fog). got my stuff hence part of my personality back from swe yesterday and it feels great. now all of me is gathered in one place. though i still miss swe. i wonder if the changes im experiencing depend on the blue package or if it's because of certain ppl around me. and what's in it for me in the long run? kinda weird and interesting at the same time.

Skrivet av arlona, 2008-11-10

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regretting deleting my old profile here, would be nice to reread all that nonsense of mine i wrote a few years ago. most of it most likely consisted of my own descriptions of weird personality changes and how i tried getting past loads of probs. welcome me back, folks, im done with most of the issues, still some left. good for me. life would be boring and pointless if there were no issues to solve. cant complain, ups n downs, and im like a dead fish in the stream, letting the life take me wherever it goes. id wish to change from a selfish bitch into the good samaritan, but there is long way to go and my brain seems to be a little too twisted to accept the effort.

Skrivet av arlona, 2008-11-04

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