moments to share, moments to care

i'm on a good mood. partially thanks to the basement who let me look on the same situation with different eyes. but mostly because of one conversation. not because it would have given me more hope, but it enlightened me. it took away half of the pressure. it took away half of the worries. anyhow. ofc im still nervous, but im blaming it on the parent behind me, since that has never given me any peace of mind.

also. damn me woman. instincts are strong and by far they haven't been wrong. the thought "it is so not gonna end well" has proven itself one more time. i cannot blame anyone, but yes, a huge gap has developed based on certain events, texts, behaviors. too bad. or well.. maybe it was just never meant to be. the hardest part is when you aren't sure and you fumble around blindly hoping to lay a finger on smth solid. but apparently that part is over. the thing is that i am so damn sure that it is over. some ppl are just so obvious. but thanks. at least one thing less to worry about.

i just want to laugh insanely. about my own pathetic behavior. about how lucky i am without realizing it. about how i have it all and waste it all. but mostly - how free i am. i feel like the free-est person on the earth. insane laugh.

Skrivet av arlona, 2009-02-06 21:52