moments to share, moments to care
happy ending?
i have thought a lot and come to conclusion that the trip as shitty as it was, gave me the piece of mind and the calm feeling in my heart that i needed despite all the depressing notions and events.
however. i did everything what i could do. there is nothing more in my power to do to change things. and in 20 years i will not ask myself: "what if?" because i did everything and nothing depends on me anymore.
i appreciate the one true friend and the three wonderful families which i know i can always trust on. and i appreciate Örjan though i can't categorize him. not that bad in the end.
i appreciate my friends here. now even more than ever. they see me as this little spoiled brat, princess, annoying person that is always using others just to please her wishes, mostly late, way too honest and way too demanding. but they love me for who i am. and they know ill be always there for them. no conflicts. no anger. no arguments.
when i lived in swe there were two guys that had this amazing friendship - we used to say that they talk in their own language. no one understood what theyre laughing about and they were mostly laughing. they could leave the party unnoticed just because they felt like having pizza. i was a little jealous of friendship like that.
but now. now i am a part of that. three ppl talking in their own language. laughing at jokes others just don't get. if one of us feels like doing something, we just do it. it is amazing and i am enjoying it so badly. i'm a little afraid that ill miss it so much when i'm away. but it's worth it. every single step of the way.
Skrivet av arlona, 2009-01-20 00:22
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